How to beat social anxiety - An action based approach



Millions of people in the UK and around the world suffer daily from social anxiety (SA), and if you don't, count yourself extremely lucky. Social anxiety is an evolutionary trait which stems from our ability to avoid danger and stay alive. Our caveman ancestors would be confronted with life threatening situations daily, thus, the 'fight, flight or freeze' response was a naturally dominant trait that remained in humans.


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Image result for reptilian brainHowever, in the modern world, we are rarely faced with genuinely life threatening situations and so the brain misreads social situations as dangerous. The reptilian region of our brain senses danger (e.g. someone asking you a question which puts you on the spot) and instantly releases stress hormones including adrenaline and cortisol. You are now faced with a decision, do you a) fight b) take flight or c) freeze? And most of the time in today's society, b is most commonly seen with anxiety taking over and leaving you stuck in your head..


Despite you knowing full well and cognitively understanding that this process is useless in the modern world, this doesn't make the feeling any less real. This cannot just be understood, it must be felt in the real world and experienced, however, the wide variety of ways in which SA can present itself make this process easy for some, but a seemingly impossible task for many others.


Social anxiety is therefore a spectrum which, at the less 'serious' end, can present its ugly self as a slight feeling of unease when in groups of people or when forced to speak out in front of strangers. The other end of the spectrum is a much more debilitating phobia which is characterized by deep insecurities about friendships and ones self image where even stepping foot out of the house seems like the most difficult task imaginable.

In order to tackle this social menace, action must be taken. So the rest of today's post will be dedicated to the ways in which YOU can take action no matter how severely you are suffering from social anxiety.


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3 Steps for taking action with YOUR social anxiety



1. Small steps added together make one huge leap. 

In my opinion, the most effective way to overcome social anxiety is taking consistent small steps to avoid becoming overwhelmed. In order for this process to begin, I suggest you start as soon as you can and set out to complete 30 days of small challenges.

For example, day one is going to ease you in gently, therefore, all that is required for this day is to walk past someone on the street, make eye contact, and smile. That's all.

Day two involves asking a shop assistant for help finding a product, simple.

Day three is asking a stranger on the street for simple directions, and really listening.

Set out progressive daily SA challenges in a planner for 30 days. By day 30, the challenges should include tasks such as complementing a stranger on the street or even attending a social event with strangers on your own. This should sound like hell right now, good, because you will therefore have a baseline to refer back to when you are in the latter stages of this challenge.


2. Feel the fear, face it, and then do it anyway. 

This step comes part and parcel with step 1. The challenges will feel awkward and you will be a nervous wreck, but that is fine! That is what being a human is all about, being awkward.. But seriously, when you are about to complete one of the above tasks, feel the apprehension and nerves throughout your body, and then do it anyway.

This process is known as systematic desensitization. This phenomena occurs because over time, your neo-cortex (logical problem solving brain) realizes that in these situations, you are under no genuine physical danger and in turn, outweighs the initial reaction of the reptilian brain and can ignore it. Therefore, the anxiety you feel in this situation is understood in both the cognitive and somatic sense.


3. 'The pain you feel now is completely necessary for your future self to feel truly happiness'.  

The last step is a mindset cue helps to give purpose to the suffering you are going through whilst following these daily challenges. If you think of this sentence just before you undergo your daily challenge, it gives you that last little push to WANT to take action for your future happiness is created in the present moment.

Lastly, good luck everyone! 
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